Written by
CHS Clinical Director – Robert Mendelsohn, MFT, CSAT-S
What do we mean when we talk about attachment style? What is it and where does it originate?
Attachment refers to our connection to other beings, human, animal or otherwise. Synonyms: connection, bonding, relationship, joining – how do we do it? Can we do it? Can we trust? Can we be vulnerable? How do we love? And how is all this determined?
Attachment theory proposes that our earliest bonds with our caregivers set the pattern. If those are safe, reliable, consistent, loving, with ruptures that are repairable, we learn to attach securely and will likely have that ability our entire lives. If those first bonds are dangerous, inconsistent or absent, we will adapt to that, too, by attaching fearfully, inconsistently or not at all. And yes, your attachment style is not fixed, it can change and evolve.
Interested in a deeper dive into attachment and attachment styles? See Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
